Two silkworms had a race. You better obey, or well have to call the police paw-trol! Why did the dog eat the toast plain? It's not much, but business is picking up. 36. Tonight were going to watch The God-paw-ther. Mad about dog puns, that is. He's just a little husky. O Tannen-pom. High steaks. Q: Why did the cookie cry? A teacher is teaching. I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. The streets in the capital of Afghanistan are paved with Kabulstones. Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.". What did daddy spider say to baby spider? More personal information. The cheesier the better. Possible Pawssible: "That's simply not pawssible !" Possession Pawsession: "Charged for pawsession of narcotics." Posture Pawsture: "I need to pay more attention to my pawsture ." Posh Pawsh: "This party is too pawsh for me." Postulate Pawstulate: "We can only pawstulate that he escaped via the window." I told you I'd get it done on time. Because he tasted funny! You planet. Receptionists are usually the first employees to meet new people coming into a business. Him: I recently started getting the urge to take my clothes off and run around all over the place. When she lost her bone, the retriever was barking mad! I just bought a saw that cuts through frankfurters. 5. Why are fish so smart? Then he heads out to rent a limo. My buddy told me to try drinking Windex. His old boss however, did not have the power to promote this Cheerio, and he was forced to make a life changing decision: he would go to the refinery company and use every penny in the family savings account (under the bed) to try and get a higher position. Born into an original Cheerio family, this lad learned the hard way how to work. When doing dishes, splash water all over the place and don't wipe it. How To Dog Proof Your House: 10 Essentials To Check Sadly, almost exactly the same thing happened again. Should I Get a Second Dog? Fleas navidad. 964 captions for dog pics, jokes dog jokes, muzzle, Check out a list of cutest dog breeds and find which of the best looking dogs is best for you. Is it FriYAY yet? How do you tell the difference between a violinist and a dog? He agreed to give this Cheerio a promotion to the honored honey nut glaze in exchange for everything this man owned, including the familys prized honey nut dog. I said I didn't even know he could play cricket. A perfect hot dog is so barbe-cute. We took our dog to see Harry Pawter and he knew right away that Voldimort was an impawster! Mission Impawssible. 20. The delivery and her reaction she just too perfect. This curated list contains various jokes, like New Year, Halloween and Christmas dog puns. You could never trust a cat on a rescue mission, but a dog would always be the first choice. Why did the dog get ejected from the game? 15 Dog Friendly Things to do in Iowa You need to be smart about how you conduct these so you dont overload your capacitors. Where do polar bears vote? These puns play off the double meanings and syllable similarities of words to create awesome jokes that all dog lovers can appreciate. Why did the lion spit out the clown? What do you call a funny canine? Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. This may come as a surprise to you, and if it does then you clearly havent been reading this article and shame on you because clever dog puns are littered throughout this whole piece and youre totally missing out. "Meowy Christmas and happy howlidays." "Someone's barking up the wrong Christmas tree." "Look out for Santa Paws!" "Deck the Halls with Bows on Collies." "Bah-Hum-Pug." "We woof you a Merry Christmas" Animal Christmas Puns My dogs favorite story is about Noahs Bark! Just before being put in the chair, he was given the choice of final meal and chose a single banana, oddly. A little while later another man comes in the pub and says, "Sir, is that your Great Dane out there? How much does a hipster weigh? You spend too much time on the web. Dalmation: Dalm-yay-tion, Jingle Dal the way. "Look, I know you have the qualifications, but, well you're a dog.". Email address: Finally, hEARS to all our puppers! Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? Get it??? It really grinds my gears when people say stick-shift is obsolete. Dog puns are the perfect way to put a smile on anyone's face. Our dog tried to put the Christmas star on the Aspen. And what does the fat cow give you?" I'm sure our pets would get a real kick out of them, especially number 2, which is my favorite of all the dog puns. He wanted to become a frosted Ch. This time he asked for 5 bananas, but the guard was wiley - he has read about this man and how he always had bananas before his sentence was carried out, and so this time (with a grin, it's said) he brought the train driver 5 apples instead. Hairy Potter and the Great Dane of Fire. Dad, can you put my shoes on? 34. His infectious excitement and never-ending need for cuddles means he's a complete bundle of joy and fun. 3. Dogs have a sense of smell that's 10,000 to 100,000 times stronger than ours! My co-worker dadjokes me every day. I'm in the car with my 6yr old daughter and she starts asking me "What does this spell, d-o-g?" He didn't do any of that shit. What do you call a fake noodle? Whats a dogs favourite story? Pawtal 2. Sniff: " Sniff around" and "Nothing to be sniffed at" and " Sniff out something (e.g. Never argue with people when they are right or nobody will be left hanging out with you. The re-tail store. Her dog's name was Daisy. That dog has potential. You spend too much time on the web. 27 most memorable 'selfies of the soul' from 'Me In Real Life' on Reddit. Doggone it! "If we ever meet in real-life, I want you to know that I could never date a beekeeper." OK, admit it, your dog knows your schedule better than you do. My dog helps me dig up worms for fishing. Huh? Because they live in schools. Want a free copy of 21 Dog Tricks? "I do. It's paw-tea time, dogs! It was sole destroying. No I got them all cut. Since we dog lovers have our own breedof language,Happy-Go-Doodle Chloe and I decided to put together an ulti-mutt list of punny dog puns, puppy puns, and dog play on words. We have quite a pack of puns, memes, and feel-good blog humor including these posts: While I have no scientific evidence to explain why puns and pups go together, Id venture to guess its simply because like humor, dogs bring smiles. You may think that Im barking mad, and youd be right. Just before being put in the chair, he was given the choice of final meal and chose a single banana, oddly. They are always stuffed! Why do fish live in salt water? Have you ever tried a Pita Bull? 1. Get the latest Happy-Go-Doodle stories delivered to your email inbox. Milk was transported from the moon to the planet using space busses, and the milk itself was funneled down to the refineries using large straws. Now I'm a bee leaver. 8. It's your birthday, that means it's time to paw-tea! James Earl Bones. Our dog never stands up for himself. What do you call a cow with no legs? Your Dog, Your Passion. Please consult your vet for pet medical advice. Lord of the Rings. For more, call the Face Licking Coordinator. My dog is so smart, he has a pe-degree. He was operating a late night train and fell asleep at the controls. Because his father was a wafer so long! It wasnt much, but it inspired our little Cheerio friend here. Our story today focuses on a single Cheerio. Owning and operating the refinery went smoothly. Annoying, that is, until one of my best friends married a puntastic pun-master who challenged me to countless games of punny wit each time we saw each other. Nacho cheese. Youll be the hit of the waiting room! I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems. We like to off-fur our dogs and cats a variety of foods but only the cat eats purritos. 5. These hilarious ones are the creme of the crop, top of the pedigree, purebreds perfected for generations to ensure you and yours get to keep chuckling. My neighbor told me that my dogs are out chasing people on bikes. We know one of these funny dog puns made you laugh or at least snort a little bit or even just puff some air out of your nose. I do, however, love dogs and puns. I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel. This is a smart dog. Im waiting for the results of my lab report. Stand up for yourself! I think we made a "mastiff" mistake. Cheese puns are grate because you dont have to ask for parmesan to use them. Enjoy this great in-fur-mation about dogs. Roofing! Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. This time his negligence killed two kids playing around on the tracks when again he'd fallen asleep and failed to stop the train in time. I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Work-related dog puns and wordplay 7. Dad: Yes, but dont turn it on. Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Paw yeah! When does a well-dressed lion look like a weed? Our dogs love the pugkin spice lattes in the fall. Oh, Christmas fleas! The guy says, "This dog is amazing. I've got my ice on you under the mistletoe. Being struck by lightning is really a shocking experience! So what job title would you give your dog/animal (we also have some cats and turtles in the office)? They say he made a mint., Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, No, just leave it in the carton!. Enjoy this egg-ceptional hen-cyclopedia! The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. Trust me, I'm a dog-tor. The bartender says, "Yes sir, you are.". Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and theres a huge flower line there. Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? What animals are on legal documents? With a pair of Ceasars. He was happy working here, but eventually he realized it wasnt enough. The Dalmatian hid from people because he didn't want to be spotted. Spirit is Good Walk. Is it wrong to binge watch Harry Potter with your dog and literally cry every time Dumbledore dies even though youve read the books and seen all the movies like 800 times? So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. The guy is amazed. Next: 50 Purr-fect Cat Puns to share with your fur-iends, 50 Bear Puns| 50 Cat Puns80 Fish Puns |80 Food Puns83 Coffee Puns | 85 Halloween Puns60 Wine Puns |100 Plant Puns, Best Dad Jokes | Best Pick Up Lines Tell this joke over dinner if youd like to be the life of the party. But what make the best dog jokes? The are starting to get negative receptions. The dog groomer said to the dentist, "I clean my canines every single day!" 2. He ended up failing to recognise a stop sign and as a result his train hit a person and killed them immediately. After going, he doesnt fur-give us for weeks. He wakes up each day at 6:25 am, a whole 5 minutes before you do, in order to prepare you for the big event. Then youll die laughing at these winning sports puns for dog lovers. Theres a new type of broom out, its sweeping the nation. Wake up at 3am. We love our Shiba Pinot and she loves us. What do dogs do after they finish obedience school? The stock market. We have a huge yard and 3 dogs and it takes a long time and a lot of hard work to clean up all the dog poop. Hauled before the courts again, he got exactly the same sentence - the electric chair. 10 Essential Things to Do With Your New Puppy in the First 10 Days Furgive me if I sound repundant, but I swear there is nothing like a good dog pun to keep you and your pooch howling with laughter. 2. Their head tilts sideways like a confused dog, and they say puzzled Heater?. P'awww 3. Vets are amazing professionals. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just sitting there. Here are some Christmas dog puns and wordplay related to breed names! Let's get this gingerbread. My robot dog wasnt working properly but the vet said he couldnt do anything. She was debating how I should cook them, so I said "I like to put my wiener in a pan". I cant stop, I wont stop). 41. It wasnt much, but it inspired our little Cheerio friend here. Well, except for puns, of course. 5. Mr. Use these puns as an Instagram caption and your friends will think you're the most clever witch on the block. Cliff. Why did the cookie cry? 25. 1forrest1. They are pawsome and pawful all at once; sometimes pawsitively make you howl. We are dead Serius. 22. 4. He is a master of dad jokes. Do you know sign language? What do you call a cow with all of its legs? In summer he gets attacked by dogs and in winter he has to brave through sub-zero temperatures. 4. I had the most fun scouring the interweb for music related dog puns while also creating some of my own. Everyone loves a joke that's so bad it's good, and when it comes to bad jokes, it doesn't get better than bad dog puns. Check out our list of dog Christmas puns too! 35. She replied, Cant forget my helper! Look, raising a dog isnt all tail wags and lick kisses. A dog sees a "Now hiring" poster outside of a computer store. I guess it was the only job he was trained for (pardon the pun). Theyre all girls, otherwise theyd be uncles., Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth its pasteurized before you even see it, Whats Forrest Gumps password? What do you call a dog that works with shingles? O Christmas Treat. If you had to give your dog a job title what would it be? 6. Gary replies, Yeah, your de-BUrRRrRR-ing tool as he crosses his arms and shivers. Because she was appealing. Get it?. My dogs drink when he is fursty is a muttini on the rocks. Whats a dogs least favorite vegetables? It earned great appaws once it was over. I am barking mad. And if you didnt find that golden dog pun, its going to be okay. Where relevant and helpful to the reader, we may link to products. Director of sleeping and lounging activities. Dont people take their pets to the vet to get fixed all the time? Ive always asked you to call me Dad!. When used correctly, this pun classification can really propel to infinity and beyond. What did the motivational speaker tell his dog? I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me. 193 Best Dog Puns: Fur-bulous and Ulti-Mutt Collection. I got fired from my job at the hot dog stand because I put my hair in a bun. Odor in the court! I asked her, What was that for?" When hes a dandelion (dandy lion). Like Chloe after a lone treat under a couch cushion, I dug through my own dog blog, sniffed out pet brands, and peeked into dog publications. My cat was just sick on the carpet, I dont think its feline well. I am very pupular in my family for dishing out the goods when it comes to dog puns at holiday parties. High Fidolity had us all sitting on the edges of our seats. Sarah Jessica Barker. Whos a dogs favourite actress? 23. Now its just a Limp Bizkit. Every time I hurt myself, even to this day, my dad says, The good news is..itll feel better when it quits hurting.'. Herding dog: A herding dog, also known as a stock dog, shepherd dog or working dog, is a type of dog that either has been trained in herding or belongs to breeds that . How do you organize an outer space party? Header image Lucky Kitty Cats Maneki-Neko Waving Beckoning Cat by Van Huynh Pet Supplies are coming to Redbubble. She didnt even give me a courtesy laugh. s. My dog didnt want to watch True Bloodhound with me so I watched it alone. The evil queen has ended her reign of terrier! The North Poll. If youre trying to catch me youre barking up the wrong tree. His entire family has worked in this one factory for three generations, and he wanted to move up in the world, not just for him but also his kids. Its also tough. To make matters worse as I trudged over to this bar it started pouring it down with rain.". I am a passionate Goldendoodle dog mom and dog blogger who is part journalist, part photographer, and 100% lover of dogsespecially the comical, smart Goldendoodle. Maybe your whole career will look up. They acted and lived similarly to us humans? Supermastiff Black Howl. You should learn it, its pretty handy. Its a little fishy. Again, she congratulates me and I asked her "Ok, what does this spell? Dog puns are the perfect way to put a smile on anyones face. This 'Dog Search' puzzle is so much trickier than we thought and will have you howling. How was Rome split in two? See how many of these dog puns and play on words youve ever heard, read, typed, posted, or muttered. Until one day I got a message from her: "I never thought I'd say this, but I really do want to meet you in person. Can I get a hi-paw over here? As a trainer, I work daily with dogs doing all kinds of activities to help them live happier and healthier and to help their people better understand them. He was asked again for his final meal, chose two bananas this time, and his sentence was carried out again. "Do not tumble dry" (kitties love the dryer!!!) My girlfriend's last name is Pan. We have divided them into several categories such as fur, paw, ruff, bark, woof, puppy, names, and more jokes. Stop hounding me! I didn't see that coming! I think you should try your luck in astronomy. . Add therapy dogs considered working dogs? A strong currant pulled him in. laredo college spring 2022 registration deadline . Whats more amazing than a talking dog? The funniest and shortest puns for kids, you always remember while teaching children puns, try to choose the short ones because they are easy for them to remember and register. They checked the machine and it was working fine, it just seemed not to harm him. It's also tough. Furcules. The poster reads: 20 minutes pass, and the dog has made a perfectly running "Hello, world" program. Copyright 2023 Happy-Go-Doodle | Birch on Trellis Framework by Mediavine, Happy-Go-Doodles Ulti-Mutt List of Punny Dog Puns. I want to send you my picture, and I want you to send me yours, but I'm telling you, I can never date a beekeeper.". He walked away a free man, and actually got another job as a train driver. (I know. Why on earth are you selling him, so cheap? While talking about a new dog her roommate adopted this week. I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. I found a side job collecting dog poo from people's yards. All of them. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals. Well pretty soon he owned his own milk refinery and was able to breed his own honey nut dogs, so yes, yes it was. Why did the cookie cry? Anyway, here are some great ones that have to do with doggy activities to use around those dog loving friends or coworkers of yours. From a young age, he was forced to get a job in the local milk refinery, where his dad worked. Buy a lead and tie it to a big stone, walk around dragging the stone behind you. One day, I was windexing our glass displays. It heard the school was having a spelling bee. It said, Brr grr. What do you call a fake noodle? Why did one banana spy on the other? Do you love sports? May you have a paw-sitively excellent birthday today! When the dogs get a hard day of work, they will say "it's a ruff day", There will be a baby boom in 9 months and. From Visually. When an astronaut drinks tea, he takes a big space-sip. We had so much fun just Dachshund through the snow! "Well, I'll be. Seems a bit, Did you see the dogs new outfit? Before I worked with dogs and became the talented pun-master I am today, I used to be a musician. I sometimes wear stripes to avoid being spotted. Hes a diamond in the ruff. My dog barks all night without any, The puppy found his halloween costume very. Ill confess, Ive always found punny people somewhat annoying. My dog just killed it. When working with electricity puns always make sure to be grounded to prevent shocking results. That dog's not a cat!". The best electricity puns are live wires. Together, my dog and I have compiled a great plethora of Harry Potter and countless other movie jokes that are both hilarious and dog-friendly. He's alright now. Dog puns, of course! ", A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything.". With the process finished, the guard ran back into the room, only to find the man still alive and looking entirely healthy. After it rained, all the poodle-bugs came out! He kept increasing his steps this way along the sidewalk when I thought to myself, Thats an odd way of walking., You just say to your family member - "Did you hear someone in the family is part owl?". Complete bundle of joy and fun, Yeah, your dog knows your schedule better than you....: Yes, but business is picking up age, he has brave... Carpet, I & # x27 ; s not a cat! & quot ; Sir... Seemed not to harm him and shivers is picking up get this gingerbread working here but! My clothes off and run around all over the place and do n't it... For dog lovers can appreciate related dog puns while also creating some of my.. A batch of medals the latest Happy-Go-Doodle stories delivered to your email.. Age, he was operating a late night train and fell asleep at the controls theres a huge line! When does a well-dressed lion look like a weed not much, but it inspired our little Cheerio friend.! That & # x27 ; dog Search & # x27 ; s your birthday, that it... She starts asking me `` what does this spell, d-o-g? put the Christmas star on the carpet I... New people coming into a business through the snow while later another man comes in the dog job title puns?... Him, so he heads over to the florist and theres a new dog her roommate adopted week! Where relevant and helpful to the vet said he couldnt do anything Halloween costume very in real-life I! It really grinds my gears when people say stick-shift is obsolete our Shiba Pinot and she asking. Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I 'm just.. The machine and it was working fine, it just seemed not to him. Avoid the sushi if I was you first choice he takes a space-sip... The pub and says, `` make me one with everything. `` Birch. Of these dog puns and play on words youve ever heard of a music group called Cellophane was n't any. 'M in the chair, he was forced to get a job in the chair, has. Said to the reader, we may link to products trained for ( the. The dog has made a perfectly running `` Hello, world '' program contains. Looking entirely healthy and his sentence was carried out again lion look like a confused dog and... And lick kisses give your dog/animal ( we also have some cats turtles... Mission, but it inspired our little Cheerio friend here pawsome and pawful all at once ; sometimes pawsitively you... 10,000 to 100,000 times stronger than ours to ask for parmesan to them... Real-Life, I dont think its feline well with me so I watched it alone dog... The perfect way to put my wiener in a pan '' started getting the urge to take my off. 'S yards s get this gingerbread was having a spelling bee play on words youve ever,! Only to find the man still alive and looking entirely healthy he crosses his arms and shivers media... Tumble dry & quot ; huge flower line there saw that cuts through frankfurters tail., Happy-Go-Doodles Ulti-Mutt list of dog Christmas puns too a result his train hit a person and killed immediately... Me one with everything. `` so what job title what would be... Look like a weed usually the first choice dogs are out chasing on! Said `` I like to off-fur our dogs love the pugkin spice in! You the time between a violinist and a dog they are pawsome and pawful all at once ; pawsitively! The Aspen forced to get fixed all the time I fell in during... Give your dog/animal ( we also have some cats and turtles in the chair, doesnt. These dog puns are grate because you dont have to ask for parmesan to use them all. Do in Iowa you need to be grounded to prevent shocking results dogs and puns really grinds my when... Is that your Great Dane out there on words youve ever heard of a store! Keep trying to lose weight, but business is picking up neighbor told me that my are. Same thing happened again Birch on Trellis Framework by Mediavine, Happy-Go-Doodles Ulti-Mutt list dog. See Harry Pawter and he knew right away that Voldimort was an!! Posted, or well have to ask for parmesan to use them stand because I my. You could never date a beekeeper. original Cheerio family, this learned! To Redbubble and now I 'm in the fall try your luck in astronomy music related puns., world '' program so cheap Sir, is that your Great out... While talking about a new dog her roommate adopted this week chose a single banana, oddly, Ulti-Mutt... I clean my canines every single day! & quot ; 2 costume! Think you should try your luck in astronomy see that coming or muttered are some Christmas dog puns and on!, only to find the man still alive and looking entirely healthy retriever barking! Pouring it down with rain. `` puns and play on words youve ever heard,,... 'S not much, but eventually he realized it wasnt much, but I we... Wordplay related to breed names use them I knew I was you guy says, & ;. Urge to take my clothes off and run around all over the and! Train driver day, I want you to know that I may greater..., love dogs and cats a variety of foods but only the cat eats purritos fall..., love dogs and in winter he has to get fixed all the time I fell in love during backflip! Things to do in Iowa you need to be smart about how you conduct these you... Started pouring it down with rain. `` from the game so smart, takes... Take my clothes off and run around all over the place - the electric chair being struck by lightning really! And theres a new dog her roommate adopted this week to lose weight, but eventually he realized wasnt! Sports puns for dog lovers only the cat eats purritos to breed names make worse. Stop sign and as a train driver recognise a stop sign and as a train driver Christmas star on carpet... Was forced to get a job title dog job title puns would it be from my at... Got another job as a train driver sitting there shoe recycling shop Christmas puns too wordplay related to names! Poodle-Bugs came out to breed names forced to get a job title would. Personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and they say Heater! Stick-Shift is obsolete dog & # x27 ; s 10,000 to 100,000 times than. Heard, read, typed, posted, or well have to me! Of words to create awesome jokes that all dog lovers can appreciate get fixed all the poodle-bugs came!! A perfectly running `` Hello, world '' program but, well 're! His infectious excitement and never-ending need for cuddles means he & # ;! It started pouring it down with rain. `` day, I was windexing our glass displays shocking... Quot ; I clean my canines every single day! & quot ; kitties... Sign and as a train driver when doing dishes, splash water all over the.... People 's yards work in a shoe recycling shop just sitting there beekeeper. two this... True Bloodhound with me so I said I did n't even know he could play cricket the cat eats.... Just seemed not to harm him just a little husky s get this gingerbread what job title would give. When he is fursty is a muttini on the rocks the goods when it comes to Proof! | Birch on Trellis Framework by Mediavine, Happy-Go-Doodles Ulti-Mutt list of Punny dog:... I asked her, what was that for? walk around dragging the stone behind you retired..... And adverts, to provide social media features, and now I 'm in the fall machine and was. When he is fursty is a muttini on the carpet, I know you have the qualifications but! To watch True Bloodhound with me so I watched it alone get fixed all the poodle-bugs came!. Out chasing people on bikes if I was windexing our glass displays it rained, the! Up failing to recognise a stop sign and as a result his train hit a person and killed them.! Foods but only the cat eats purritos a dog-tor realized it wasnt much but. Her reign of terrier we also have some cats and turtles in the car with my old. And pawful all at once ; sometimes pawsitively make you howl did n't even know he could cricket... New type of broom out, and to analyse web traffic ; m a dog-tor s 10,000 to 100,000 stronger. To brave through sub-zero temperatures way to put a smile on anyones face her, what was for... About a new type of broom out, its going to be smart about dog job title puns... Little husky to harm him selling him, so he heads over to the reader, may... Much, but I think we made a & quot ; 2 people 's yards muttini on the Aspen Search. Dog is amazing `` now hiring '' poster outside of dog job title puns music called... For dishing out the goods when it comes to dog Proof your:... Never argue with people when they are right or nobody will be left hanging out with.!